Project Playlist

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Time to catch up? Yes.


FINALLY blogging! I had a busy summer, folks. And now its October, so I suppose I have had a busy school year as well. I have been extremely blessed these past couple months and I just absolutely love my life. I am excited to share it with you!
Teen Staff at Youthfront Camp South! Spent 5 weeks there this summer, and then another weekend for rock the light!
Went to London!
Where the London Eye was just one of my many adventures!

Daddy surprised me with tickets to see Phantom!!! <3<3

I started my SENIOR YEAR! look at my doggy being all cute <3

Auditioned for my school musical! Yay chorus!

Had an awesome night at the Tiger Act lock in!

Got my senior pictures!

Went to homecoming!

Started reading Harry Potter for the first time. I'm already on book five!

Other things that happened that I just don't have picures from::
SAW MAROON 5 AND TRAIN IN CONCERT. and matt nathanson opened by serenading me with faster. :)
Went to worlds of fun during halloween for the first time!
Saw Les Mis, Chicago, Love Never Des, and Much Ado in London!
Started applying for colleges... scary.
Life is movig so fast, I can't keep up. I love who I am and whats been going on. I am excited to see what adventures await me!


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

so. my computer broke. not really sure the details. all i know is it got a virus. and now the hard drive is failing. whhhiiichhh means they are replacing it. which means everything ever saved on my computer is gone forever. joy.

but hey, i could be dead. trying to stay positive. welll, thats about it.


oh ya. be excited. cause when i get my computer back, look forward to posts about youthfront and london. p.s. i cant o the exclamation mark or caps from my phone. so ya, that sucks. haha kbye.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Deep Breath

Hello my blogging friends :)

So. its been awhile. Exactly a month actually. Thats weird. Anywho, I've been extremely busy this last month. Lets catch up.


ANNIE. That show was such a blessing. Such a life changing experience. I originally auditioned for it just as something to do to make the rest of the school year go faster. Deciding to do that show was the best decision I have ever made (other than being saved of course :)) I can not believe I did it. It is one of my biggest accomplishments I think. During our first Sunday show, I had an unexpected, unwelcome guest attend. When I found out he was in the audience, I lost it, the cast was there for me through that and with their help I was able to go out and perform the show! It was actually one of our better performances!



Easy Street <3

I had my dance show! We performed at The Lied Center at KU. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I am literally in love with that stage now. (Only a theatre kid would fall in love with a stage) It was so cool! I didn't know what to expect being in a "dance show" but I really enjoyed it. I WANNA DANCE FOREVER!



I had finals. BLEHHHHH. gross.
Tornado warnings during school, right after Joplin was hit bad. SCARY.
I had an amazing weekend with friends to start off summer.
And today, I went to the mall and fifty bajillion other places with my good friend DELANEY SOMMERS.




Now I get 4 days to rest up and relax before I leave to teenstaff at Youthfront on MONDAY! I am so stoked for this!!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

friends.

This weekend has been one of the best weekends of my life. Starting with rehearsal on friday -> Daniel shaving his head friday night -> spending the night at Haley's with Sierra -> Going to US Toy to find Annie Wigs with Haley, Sierra, and Haley's mom -> going to A-Z and finding a buzz costume that would fit me (sadly I didn't have enough money for it. #ineedajob) -> going to Kathy's fundraiser recital -> thrift store shopping for old lady costumes -> going to Lowenstein and having a pizza picnic with tons of cool kids -> roxberry -> back to Lowenstein -> to Levi's trampoline -> senior day at youth. bittersweet -> buffy -> going to Haley's to watch a cool video she is making.


yep. you probably could care less about all the adventures I went on, but this is my blog and I feel like writing about them. so deal.

It was a very nice "de-stressing" weekend. (is that even a word? owell, youknowwhatImean)

This weekend felt so much like summer, it's depressing that I have to go back to school tomorrow. But, I don't have that much longer. This week is EOC's which I don't have to take but, because of them, my classes are longer, which means most of my teachers are just having us watch movies. Friday is Pop n' Jazz. Saturday is move in for Annie / my cousins fashion show in the evening. All next week is show week for Annie (stoked!!!!!!!!), then a week of hell, then finals week, THEN SUMMER!!

AND JUST A WEKK(ish) AFTER SCHOOL'S OUT IS YOUTHFRONT! I am so excited to teenstaff. and then teenstaff again, and then the lake (maybe) with friends, then camp at youthfront, then LONDON.


AHHHH life is just so good! :) I could just jump for joy!!




p.s. awkward double attitude leap. HA.







anyways. this weekend has just shown me how incredibly blessed I am. I throw myself a lot of pity parties, and I've had quite a few emotional break downs in the past few months. Starting last November, my life began to crumble apart. My friend once told me "When you have taken all you can bear and it feels like you can't keep fighting through and when you have hit rock bottom; that's when God has something truly amazing in store for you" I have grasped so hard to those words. They are my water floaties in this deep end of life's pool. Being with my friends this weekend has truly opened my eyes and shown me that I don't got it that bad. I've got it really good actually. :)


peace.love.friendship.

<3 Jessie

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I am so incredibly stressed right now. My life has been on fast forward for the past month and looking forward into the coming months, it doesn't seem like it will slow down until July. Don't get me wrong, I love being busy. I can not handle not being busy, I go insane. I just wish all my busy was the fun kind of busy. Explanation: I wish I could just have the dance, theatre, and choir busy and skip the school busy. Since its getting down to the final days of school, the teachers have started going at a quicker pace so we can get everything done. Currently I have basically six papers to write all for the same class (I am taking a break from that writing to do this writing). All six of those are due tomorrow. I feel like I am not given the amount of time I would like to finish most the assignments given to me. Its not like its impossible to get it done, just that, having shortened periods of time to work on things stresses me out. And then on top of that, we only have three more rehearsals until my show moves into the theatre. I am so excited for show week, but also deathly afraid. This my first lead and I don't know what to expect. I am not worried about my lines or my choreography or lyrics. Those things come naturally to me. I am mostly worried about how tired I will be. I do not function well socially when I am low on sleep and stressed. Another thing that worries me is that I will be missing on of our final rehearsals at the church for a choir concert. Which stresses me. Also, with missing school two days for shows, I am worried about my grades., They aren't exactly where I want them right now. Once school is out I won't really be stressed anymore, just buy. from June 6- July 13th I am pretty much booked solid. I am teenstaffing at youthfront, camping at youthfront, possibly going to the lake for my friends birthday, and GOING TO LONDON! I am so excited for all of these things, but I am scared I will be missing out on summer here with friends. I've started to get my stress headaches and if I am not careful and try to calm myself down, they will very shortly turn into migraines. And those are not pleasant, especially not for busy people.

bleh, okay I am done rambling and venting.

<3 Jessie

Sunday, April 17, 2011

"While I dance I can not judge, I can not hate,

I can not separate myself from life.

I can only be joyful and whole. This is why I dance."


- Hans Bos




Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Secret Life of Bees.

I took this picture. I was pretty proud of myself. :)


Yesterday, I went outside and observed the bees. Aren't bees just the coolest thing ever?? At first I was really scared to get close. I didn't want to get stung! But once I loosened up and got close, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I love nature. (NO I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE GREEN FREAKS WHO HAS TO BUY EVERYTHING RECYCLED AND REUSABLE AND BLAH BLAH BLAH. global warming will not effect us, if it is real, we have a pretty awesome God on our side to help us out.) However, I do recycle soda cans and paper. I should recycle plastic. I have some sort of irrational fear that our planet is going to end up like WALLE and we are all going to have to live on a big space ship in the outer realms of space where we all sit on hovercraft bed like things and eat and get fat. ANYWHO, back to the bees, watching them really made me think about how precise God is. And if he can give those bees such a tiny job that effects life on earth in such a big way, just think what he is calling us to do! Ans also, if he knew how greatly we would need those small creatures and he planned that so perfectly, why would we ever doubt his plans for us?

natalie rain pellow.



Okay, so my friend Natalie recently (as in like an hour ago) made her very first blog!! [[check it out here!]] and her first post was ALL ABOUT ME!!! So, I told her I would get on writing a post about her ASAP.

here goes:::

Natalie Rain Pellow is truly one of a kind. She is crazy, funny, insane, weird, gorgeous, small, caring, awkward, and so much more.




I love this girl more than a fat kid loves cheeseburgers.


We don't get to hang out as often as we'd like, but we always make the most of our time together. We go on dates and forget to order our lasagna without meat; we go dancing; we make crazy videos; we play pig, horse, and octopus; we watch movies; we sing until we realize our voices aren't our talent; we cuddle <3; we eat...A LOT!!! basically, it's a nonstop party when we are together.

We ARE going to one day open a dance studio. mark.my.words.

In about two-ish weeks, we are getting our noses pierced. shh. don't tell my director. He'd probably be pissed. I'm planning to cross that bridge when I get there. EH. pray I don't die.

My mom is afraid it will look tribal or something.



BUT I AM NOT STUPID. its going to be supa cute!!


okay so this isn't the best picture. but It will be small and attractive and awesome!!

I really want my belly button pierced. BUT my mom won't let me. and Frederick told me that is one of the most whore-like things a girl can do. Second to getting a tramp stamp. which I would never do, I want a tatoo on my foot though. This girl at my school has the coolest octopus ever and this other girl has a butterfly. SUPER CUTE!

but a tatoo is another thing my parents do not allow...hm.. o well, in a year I will be 18 and it will be my own decision. not theirs!!

so yep. sorry natalie, I got a little of subject,. BUTTTT i love you! hope you enjoyed my post <3

-willow

(p.s. willow is natalie's nickname for me, her name is buffy, and daniel is xander. SUPA CUTE RIGHT????)



hey all.

it's saturday, I absolutely love the weather today. TOO PERFECT. It's a good thing to, cause someone stole my sweater this morning at contest. guh. not a happy camper. They better be glad it wasn't cold and my sweater wasn't needed.


My friend Haley's mom (the one whose car I totaled) purchased a new car today. Female, blue, Murano. So that's exciting.

Speaking of the wreck. THE CROSSING GUARD LIED TO THE FREAKING COP. I was super pissed when I found out. guh.

anyways. I am moving on from this.

SO NATALIE JUST TOLD ME HER VERY FIRST BLOG POST IS GOING TO BE ABOUT ME!!!! I feel so cool <3


I have started using hearts more than smileys...which could be a problem when I start texting like that...and send guys the wrong message.

So,,,,prom is next weekend. buh. I really wish I was going. BUUTT. someone ruined THAT one. I'm not bitter or anything.

Is it lame how important prom is to me?? It's just one of those things I've always wanted to do.....

BIGGEST PET PEEVE:: hearing people gulp their water...chew ice....say "ahhhh" after taking a long drink...crumpling a water bottle.... I only say this because my father just came into the kitchen. where I am currently sitting and did all of those things and it really bothered me...MEN. what are they good for...you know that saying "can't live with em, can't live with out em." I am pretty sure I could live without this one....just saying...o god...now he is eating an apple....you know when you feed the buffalo...no? well there is a place in Lee's Summit where you can....well, they are quieter than he is...

um, I have currently had this feeling of rebellion festering within me. Teen Angst, man.

are you bored yet?? too bad. I'm still blogging. SUCKA.

I miss my car ://// I need out of my house, but the only way I can get out is if one of my parents take me somewhere. This sucks.....

OKAY well...I guess I'm done now....


BYE!!!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Do you ever go back and read your old journals?

*pause*
I DID NOT SAY DIARIES. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. DIARIES ARE FILLED WITH "BAH. THOMAS IS POOPCAKE. WHY DOESN'T HE NOTICE ME. BLAH BLAH BLAH." A JOURNAL IS WHERE YOU WRITE ABOUT REAL THINGS THAT MATTER, AND WHAT YOU ARE LEARNING AND DISCOVERING IN YOUR LIFE.
*unpause*

Cause I do. And let me just say, I feel really dumb, when I come across something that I learned and realize I have completely erased the entire concept from my memory. It's like, come on Jess! We have been through this before. You're asking all the same questions again that you already figured the answers out to.

Does this ever happen to you? Yes? No?

P.S. I have old "diaries" also. HA. Those are just down right embarrassing to read sometimes. I have "crushed" on the LAMEST guys. just saying. I mean, its bad, I'm pretty sure one of them has an almost unibrow. OH. Ha. funny story. Once, I walked in on one of the guys I used to have a major thing for while he was violently making out with his girlfriend.. talk about awkward.

Is it bad to fall for a guy who is taken? I seem to do that...A LOT. o well. I can't help it.

^^ I think I got off topic. But...I'm not sure, because I don't know if I really had a topic to begin with.

SPEAKING OF BOYS. Where have all the men in this world gone to? Seriously, I know absolutely no guys who are "crush" worthy at the current moment. Where is this cave they're all hiding out in? I need to find it!!

O hey, I just want to apologize for the unnecessary dramaticness I added into my last post. I was in a mood. Get over it.

I feel like I talk about pee to often. Literally. There are two subjects I don't go a day without talking about. Men && Pee. RIDICULOUS.

okay well. This post is going nowhere. THATS ALL FOLKS.

bye!!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

let go. and let God.

Last Friday.

  • wake up
  • go to school
  • districts for choir
  • dinner with amazing people
  • back to districts to watch daniel
  • driving home

**BAM**

wrecked.

SCARED.


I was behind my friends mom. We were driving the speed limit. Not over, not under. I was a fair distance behind her. There was a good 1.5 cars length, if not more, between us. We were driving by Abundant Life. In case you don't know, they have extended parking across the street from the church. For safety reasons, they have crossing guards.

At night, the road is very poorly lit. All of a sudden. I see a man in the street in a bright orange vest with a flash light. My friends mom slams on her breaks to avoid hitting him. I do the same, but there was no way to stop in time.

I rear ended one of my best friends moms. HOW SUPER EMBARRASSING IS THAT? o well. could have been someone who would have been super pissed at me and started cussing me out.

Everything else seems a blur. I remember getting in Marta's van. and moving over to the parking lot. Someone also moved my car. We sat there, waiting for the police.

crying.

praying.

When the police got there, he asked all the basic information. I got my insurance card out.

3/24

it's the 25th.
Expired.

My parents were on their way by this point. I called to tell them the bad news. "I renewed it, the card is at home" my mom tells me. relief rushed through me.

The rest of the story is boring. Well except the fact that, I almost got a ride to the hospital in a big yellow ambulance. BBBUUTTT no worries, I didn't.

I now have a ticket, court date, broken car, drivers ed class I have to attend, head neck and back pain, and an order from my doctor not to attend dance for at least a week.

A lot has been taken away from me lately. All these things I thought I needed to bring me joy. Things I thought, I couldn't be happy without. Things I depended on to keep me afloat.

Now I realize, all I ever need is God. So here goes, taking that leap of faith (for the billionth time) and putting all my trust in Him. Which is not an easy thing for me, or anyone I suppose.




Monday, March 21, 2011

Currently, I'm sitting in class, waiting for school to begin. I decided to see if this mobile blogging thing actually works. So uh, that's about it!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Annie.

Ahhcakes. Guess what?!
I am in Annie with CYT.
I am so excited 1. because I didn't do CYT all winter and I thought I was going to murder a cat if I didn't do another show STAT. and b. because I got the part I wanted. I am Lily St. Regis. No one knows who that is, which I think is lame because you should just know these things. I don't feel like I need to explain this to you guys cause I am pretty sure only theatre nerds read my blog, BUT just incase I have a stalker, Lily is Rooster's girlfriend. If you don't know who Rooster is, well uh. Google it.

Hm, I really feel the need to blog about two things, but they shouldn't be posted on the internet I don't think. so ya. Just know that I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW SOMETHING. but I can't post it here because certain people would beat down my door with torches and those hay fork stick things.

This week was SPRING BREAK. It was basically one of the best weeks I have had in a LONNNGGG time. My friend natalie came and lived with me for awhile and it was super fun. On thursday, it was 83 outside. (I used to know how to do the degrees symbol on the computer. but I forgot. sad face.)

I made some super awesome pants. (p.s. that is a link to a pic. click and see my awesomeness.) and also a shirt (also a link)

Ya dude.

I watched HOT CHICK. Funniest. movie. ever. watch it!!

While Natalie was in town, we went to this place with a studio they let will let you dance in when there aren't classes going on. She taught me a dance she knew. I'm a bit iffy at it, but she rocked it! here it is. p.s it's sideways...sorry. I don't know how to fix it.


and yep that about sums it up for now.

see ya!



Tuesday, March 15, 2011

We Can Dance Around the Clouds Up Here.

Hello World.

Today, I had a dentist appointment. Gross. BUT, when I got home, my phone rang! I didn't recognize the number and I almost didn't pick up in fear that it would be some foreign man trying to sell me life insurance or something of that sort. I was brave and faced my fears though and answered the phone. OHEMGEE. It was my teen staff interview. After a semi-long (okay it was only like 8 minutes) interview, We decided (we being me and Sam) that the kitchen was the best fit for me. Dishes for week one and cook side for week two. CAN I JUST SAY I AM SO EXCITED?? My friend Haley doesn't like kitchen very much apparently, but I had a secret desire to be on that...team? so ya. Happy Day.


O YA AND ITS SPRING BREAK AND I AM HAVING THE BEST WEEK EVER AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY WOOOOO. :)

Friday, February 11, 2011

monday.





Monday, the day a lot of my friends are dreading, is almost here. I was dreading it. I mean it was depressing that I don't get to spend it with my boyfriend.

BUT then I thought, hey, I have been facing this day alone for years, why should it be any harder this year?

I have only ever had one other boyfriend actually on valentines day. And it was lame. His card sang to me. (I wasn't expecting it and I opened it up in the middle of class. It was embarrassing)

Besides, valentines chocolates are gross, so are the little candy hearts.

yep.


One time, My friend broke up with her boyfriend on Valentines Day....ouch.

My birthday is Valentines Day.

One time, courtwarming was on Valentines Day. I didn't have a date but I still went with the girls. They told all the guys to ask me to dance. Pity dances are not satisfying. Just saying. They are actually kind of humiliating and awkward. The guys obviously didn't want to.

yep. so I haven't really had great experiences with the day.
cept, last year cause this really great guy asked me to be his valentine. Well I did some major hinting that he should, but either way it happened. :)

we are valentines this year too :):):)


ki'mdonenow. bye.








Monday, February 7, 2011

boys.

why don't they understand that everything they say or do matters to girls in some way or another?


Sunday, February 6, 2011

Lately, I have been living in the past. What I mean is, even when I forgive someone, I still hold on to that hurt feeling that their actions or words caused me.

Then this morning, while peeing ( I pee a lot when I wake up. I mean come on its been a few hours. haha) anyways while I was on the toilet I had an epiphany. JESSIE! We are told to FORGIVE AND FORGET!

I think the reason I never chose to do this before was because I thought it was impossible. I mean how do you just forget? Then I realized I had never tried. I had expected it to just come naturally, you know? And that won't happen. Forgetting and moving on is a choice we have to make.

Also don't think you are going to be able to do this without God's help. Satan loves to push these bad thoughts into our heads. He loves when we hold grudges against people, because it puts a wedge between you and God.

So ya, I have decided my life is a clean slate from today on. And it feels good. REALLY GOOD.


This being said, If I was ever mad at you, consider it the past and I won't be digging up those old bones. (ha have you ever hears that phrase? my mom uses it allllll the time "Jessie, why are you digging up old bones?" meaning: the past is past, leave it there.)

_____________________________________________________________________

Today. I FINALLY GET TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND WHO I MISS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH.

its been two weeks. Maybe that doesn't sound like much, but those were the worst two weeks of our relationship.

BUT I GET TO SEE HIM! hm..maybe I should,,,, bake him cookies or something.
the way to a mans heart is through his stomach right? haha


Oh and while he is here, we are going to the new cupcake place!!! ahhh! I am so excited.

okay, I am done now. BYE!


Friday, February 4, 2011

TODAY:

I skipped school.

I was supposed to just go in late.

But I just didn't go in at all.

I just sat in a parking lot.

Not at the school though.

It was actually really lame.

I was too paranoid I would run into someone I knew if I went somewhere.

Ya, so really really lame.

Then I went home at like 1:30.

I hid in my room in case either one of my parents came home early.

I am such lame sauce.

My car was in the garage though.

So hiding was pointless.

I will probably never skip like that again.

It's so much more fun when its just like my mom says I can stay home.

I felt really guilty.

When my mom got home (at normal time) I couldn't wait 10 minutes before I had to let her in on what I had done.

Again I say, I am such lame sauce.

My dad will never know.

The school called and my mom covered for me.

The funny thing is, she wasn't even mad.

She was just like "JESSIE!" then moved on.

Then we went shopping.

I got a new purse.

It's super duper cute.

yep. that's about it.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Train.

SO. My favorite music ever ever ever ever forever always to infinity and beyond is Train. I am so obsessed, you have NO idea.

That being said I just wanted to share a few of my favorite songs of theirs.

  1. The Finish Line
  2. Umbrella
  3. Words
  4. This Ain't Goodbye
  5. Meet Virginia

Also, yes. the first two are links. BECAUSE IF YOU HAVENT HEARD THEM YOU NEED TO GET OUT FROM UNDER THAT ROCK YOUR LIVING UNDER AND HEAR THEM! The other 3 songs are equally wonderful, but if you want to listen to them, find them yourself! and then find every other train song ever written... because THEY FREAKING ROCK.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A Beastly Situation.

So. Let me catch you up.

I'm not going to Prom.

Because my boyfriend is busy performing that night.

Performing in a show where he may or may not be kissing another girl.


Okay, so maybe this isn't a big deal. ( ha, ya right. It's a big deal. and don't you dare judge me, because if you were in my shoes, I guarantee you would hate it just as much as I do)

I cried a little bit when I found out we weren't going to prom. I cried a lot a bit when I found out he is possibly kissing another girl for the show. (Just because its "acting" doesn't mean it doesn't hurt...just saying.)

I am trying so hard to be happy for him, he is so happy about his role, but the truth is, I just want this whole show to be over.

Most everybody I have talked to about it, just tell me to suck it up and trust him. Its not an issue of trust. I have no fear that he is going to fall for this girl. I JUST DON'T WANT HIM KISSING HER. That's normal, right? To not want your boyfriend kissing anyone besides yourself? I don't think that is unreasonable.

So, ya, I guess blogging about it doesn't help anything. It's not like I have any say. I can't change it so why bother worrying...


P.S. let me explain the title. He is doing Beauty and the Beast and He is Beast. Get it now?





Monday, January 31, 2011

Its Just Me.






I have sat here and re wrote this post seven times now. I seriously can not explain this photo. Or my reasons for this. I guess, I was bored?



Friday, January 28, 2011

Today, it was warm.

I walked out of the building after the pep assembly expecting to be cold because I had left my jacket in the classroom, but to my surprise, it was warm.

I could feel the warmth of the sun on my back. I literally felt vitamin d soaking into my body. There is something about that feeling that just makes me want to scream "GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME" Its literally how I feel God's love the most, I think.

Ever since then, I have been full of joy. Not one bitter or angry feeling has crept into my pleasant world this afternoon.

Another contribution to that joy is the fact that we spent a lot of the afternoon working on our plans for London this coming summer. We got my passport stuff all sent in, found a flight and hotel, and just got excited to go. :)

Now I am about to go downstairs and watch "Shakespeare In Love" with my mommy and have a wonderful friday night in. ( As are all my friday nights anymore)

I hope you had an equally joyful day.

-Jessie

Wednesday, January 26, 2011



Dear High School Student,

The time for re-enrollment has begun....blah blah blah blah blah...



What?! Already? Second semester has been all of 10 (ish) days and already we are enrolling for next year? RI.DI.CU.LOUS.

I do not want to think about senior year yet. Unfortunately. I am being forced to plan it all out already.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE REALLY BOTHERS ME. The fact that when you enroll you have to pick an area of focus. What the crap is that about?? Isn't high school a time to experiment and try new things. Not stick to one specific area. How are we supposed to know if we like culinary arts better than.... broadcasting, if we are discouraged from trying both. I mean they can't tell me I can't take different classes, but they discourage us from it. Its just dumb. It isn't necessary to have your entire life goals (job and such) decided in high school. I am 16. Why should I pick my career now? What I do in high school, doesn't have to define who I will be for the rest of my life.

Bah. I guess the real problem is...I don't want to think about the fact that I have a whole year of high school still to accomplish.

I have no cool ending statement. So. uhm. The End?





Monday, January 24, 2011

don't hold your breath.

I have promised to blog about certain things at a later date.

This is me saying "don't count on it"

I have a bad problem with following up on that kind of thing.

Like how I said this blog would speak of Glee.
I really did think it would.
But, as you can see. Not one Glee post.

Also, I need a place to scream. So if you don't mind editing the next sentence to "I do not like" instead of "hate" That will probably convey my true feelings better. But screaming "I do not like" is not nearly as satisfying.


so....


I HATE MY ENGLISH TEACHER!!!!!






Saturday, January 22, 2011

Remembering.



So tonight, like 5 minutes ago actually, I got into a conversation about my "story." I don't have the most interesting life.

I am a born and raised MO child.

There are only two parts of my story I feel have any worth telling.
  1. The fact that I was adopted. (maybe a story for another post) &&
  2. The story about the girl from Belarus that stayed with my family for 3 summers.
The second is the one I will be blogging about tonight. I don't have a whole lot to say. Really, just the facts. She is a year younger than me. She lives in Belarus (a small country between Poland and Russia.) And she is, for all intents and purposes, my sister. I haven't seen or spoken to her in almost five years, but I think about her often. She didn't speak any english. We bonded over The Lizzie McGuire Movie and other Disney classics. We fought a lot, but we still loved each other. She has a brother in Belarus, but other than that, no siblings. One day, she told the interpreter that she has a sister. She described the girl she called her sister, and it was very obvious that she was speaking of me. I love and miss that girl so much.

For every summer she was here, it added 7 years onto her life. In case you can't do that math. We gave that beautiful, joyful, amazing girl 21 more years to live. It wasn't hard. A little expensive, but worth it, because the truth is, she affected me and my life just as much, if not more.

There are plenty of things I could say about this girl, but words aren't enough.

Here are just a few pictures of the two of us.











Thursday, January 20, 2011

My Necessities.

I promise once schools gets back on a normal schedule I will stop the excessive blogging.


Theatre has been my life since I was 12. However, I am currently taking a break. (The first break I have taken since I started) Through this experience I have found just how important it is to me.


This has a lot to do with theatre also. It's my shelf of memories. I also have some things from church and friends up here as well :)


I am very dissatisfied with this photo. I could blame my camera, but I am pretty sure its just me. awhwell. Anywho, My computer is how I keep up with life. Without facebook, I wouldn't be able to keep up with my friends. I feel like I am very busy, even though I really am not, compared to how it usually is for me. PLUS. Without my blog, my excessive amount of thoughts would literally cause my head to explode. Releasing them into the internet helps.

A picture's worth a thousand words, right? ;)

I am convinced this is the best bible ever. I wish I had the old testament.

The labels end up being torn off everything I own. It's a bad habit.
I could not live without my chapstick. I just recently switched to Burt's Bees when I found out a couple weeks ago that Carmax is addictive. They add an ingrediant that dries your lips. So it gives you temporary relief then you have to go back for more. I already feel an improvement.

I am totally and completely addicted to my phone. Its terrible. I should work on that.

Two of my favorite movies right there. :]

I am certain that if the only shoes I bought for the rest of my life were TOMS and adidas, my feet would be perfectly happy.

This was my grandma's. It is the coolest accessory I own.

This is the necklace Logann got me for Christmas. It is my favorite accessory.

I HEART MY PERFUME.

I do not go to the library as often as I would like. Its not really located in an area I am around much, but I love to read. I enjoy the library a lot when I do go.

This silver dollar was in the box my grandpa put together for me. I received it after he died. It means the world to me. I miss you, grandpa.


Welp. Now you know what I would grab if ever my house caught on fire....I am kidding. These things are important, but if there was a fire I would grab...well, lets leave that for another blog shall we? haha.









Finding Sunshine in a Rain Storm.





Today has not been the best day.

I mean, I guess it wasn't terrible, but still..

It started as any other snow day starts. I woke up late. Chilled in bed awhile, checked facebook, went downstairs and got food. Normal, right? After that, My mom calls me and tells me she has signed me up to take the ACT in February. So, I spent some time stressing over that. Then I decided, it was time for Bella (my dog), to go out. Usually we can just take her out, she will go do her business and come right back in. We don't have a fence, but this hadn't been an issue. Well today, She takes off running. I, being stupid, took off after her. Not thinking about the fact that I was in sandals, I didn't have a jacket, and my garage door was wide open. I chased her for a good thirty minutes. Several good samaritans stopped to help me for awhile. My dog is too smart though and she knew they were on my side. No matter what, we couldn't get her to come to any of us. Finally, I got her cornered. By this point, my toes were purple and my arms were bright red from the cold. I walked back home, which took another good fifteen minutes. (It's hard to walk when you can't feel your toes) Now I am home, Changed into drive pants, socks and a long sleeve shirt. My dog is sitting in my room, not allowed out of my sight or near any of the doors. And that is that.




I can think of only one thing good through this experience. I really felt the, love, my neighbors showed me today. I have never met a lot of these people. They don't know me. And still, they tried to help me. It was weird. Because I didn't start getting that support from them until I prayed. I was running, and I knew there was no way I was ever going to catch this dog. I didn't know what to do. So I stopped and said a two second prayer. Asking God for help. I knew I couldn't do it without him. And at that moment, People were just, there to help. So thank you God, for using them to help me. And thank you kind strangers, for showing me the love of God today. :)


P.S.
Defrosting your toes, hurts.






Wednesday, January 19, 2011




Yes, I am in fact posting TWO posts (that sound very repetitive, but I don't know how else to say it) in one day... What's it to you? My blog, I will do what I want. (pretty sure I said almost that exact sentence in my last post. Wow. stressing that point much, Jess?)


Okay so, this is lame but... it still shocks me when people call me by my name at school. I still feel like the new kid no one knows. I mean I am still the new kid. I have only been there a semester and 7 days, but it shouldn't be that surprising that they at least know my name.

I have not always had a terrific self image. I mean I am a teenage girl, its pretty average to not feel the greatest about yourself, right?

...Is that not sad? Seriously who ever deserves to feel like they aren't beautifully and gloriously and wonderfully made? Guys (or should I say girls?), We are all made in the image of THE creator. The only true God. I do not know what this exactly means, but I think its kind of like when parents look at their baby and say "oh hunny, she has your eyes!" or something like that. I mean maybe not that specific, I don't even know if God has eyes. I mean really, we have no one hundred percent accurate image of God, but my guess is its like nothing we can fathom. Beyond any beauties we know. And He chose to make us in his image. And to Him we are...the most precious, beautiful creation. He loves us so much guys. Look at this world He has given us. It takes some big love to bless someone as much as God has blessed us all. His genuine love never fails to amaze me. How can someone love one who has turned away from them so much? We have failed God numerous times, and each time He turns the other cheek and accepts us back into his loving arms. It doesn't matter how many times we mess up, He always takes us back. I know I couldn't do that. Think about how it affects a relationship, when your friend says something hurtful or hurts your feelings in some way. Can you imagine letting your SON die for that friend or even stranger, so they may live? I mean ya, I would be okay with forgiving them, but giving my sons life? Never. That takes a very selfless being.


So, not to you know, change the subject, but NO SCHOOL... What did I tell ya? What will you be doing on your day off? I don't know for sure what I will be doing. Maybe read a little. I am currently reading a book called Graceling. I haven't gotten very far, but so far it has been good. Maybe I will keep you updated. If I remember.

Blogging has pretty much become my favorite thing ever. I seriously am in love with it. I am not even sure if I am doing it right, haha. O well, I don't think there really is a set way to blog. Its all about self expression, right?




This is my current obsession. I listened to it all day yesterday and I have been listening to it ever since I got home from school today. I bought the movie recently because Family Video didn't have it for me to rent. (Lamesters) I haven't watched it yet though, because I promised my boyfriend I would wait for him. Aren't I just a nice girlfriend?





Speaking of my boyfriend, look at the flowers he brought me the other day on his break! Isn't he just the best? I love that child. Even though I can't really call him a child. He is 18 after all. :)





So... I just watched American Idol. Can I just say there is a lot of young talent this year. Super excited to see how this season plays out :) P.S. can I just say I am super excited about the judges?? Steven Tyler. 'nough said.
..but seriously Jlo? Stop telling them to go to Broadway. If they don't got it, they don't got it. That is all.