I am so incredibly stressed right now. My life has been on fast forward for the past month and looking forward into the coming months, it doesn't seem like it will slow down until July. Don't get me wrong, I love being busy. I can not handle not being busy, I go insane. I just wish all my busy was the fun kind of busy. Explanation: I wish I could just have the dance, theatre, and choir busy and skip the school busy. Since its getting down to the final days of school, the teachers have started going at a quicker pace so we can get everything done. Currently I have basically six papers to write all for the same class (I am taking a break from that writing to do this writing). All six of those are due tomorrow. I feel like I am not given the amount of time I would like to finish most the assignments given to me. Its not like its impossible to get it done, just that, having shortened periods of time to work on things stresses me out. And then on top of that, we only have three more rehearsals until my show moves into the theatre. I am so excited for show week, but also deathly afraid. This my first lead and I don't know what to expect. I am not worried about my lines or my choreography or lyrics. Those things come naturally to me. I am mostly worried about how tired I will be. I do not function well socially when I am low on sleep and stressed. Another thing that worries me is that I will be missing on of our final rehearsals at the church for a choir concert. Which stresses me. Also, with missing school two days for shows, I am worried about my grades., They aren't exactly where I want them right now. Once school is out I won't really be stressed anymore, just buy. from June 6- July 13th I am pretty much booked solid. I am teenstaffing at youthfront, camping at youthfront, possibly going to the lake for my friends birthday, and GOING TO LONDON! I am so excited for all of these things, but I am scared I will be missing out on summer here with friends. I've started to get my stress headaches and if I am not careful and try to calm myself down, they will very shortly turn into migraines. And those are not pleasant, especially not for busy people.

bleh, okay I am done rambling and venting.

<3 Jessie

"While I dance I can not judge, I can not hate,

I can not separate myself from life.

I can only be joyful and whole. This is why I dance."

- Hans Bos

The Secret Life of Bees.

I took this picture. I was pretty proud of myself. :)

Yesterday, I went outside and observed the bees. Aren't bees just the coolest thing ever?? At first I was really scared to get close. I didn't want to get stung! But once I loosened up and got close, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I love nature. (NO I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE GREEN FREAKS WHO HAS TO BUY EVERYTHING RECYCLED AND REUSABLE AND BLAH BLAH BLAH. global warming will not effect us, if it is real, we have a pretty awesome God on our side to help us out.) However, I do recycle soda cans and paper. I should recycle plastic. I have some sort of irrational fear that our planet is going to end up like WALLE and we are all going to have to live on a big space ship in the outer realms of space where we all sit on hovercraft bed like things and eat and get fat. ANYWHO, back to the bees, watching them really made me think about how precise God is. And if he can give those bees such a tiny job that effects life on earth in such a big way, just think what he is calling us to do! Ans also, if he knew how greatly we would need those small creatures and he planned that so perfectly, why would we ever doubt his plans for us?

natalie rain pellow.

Okay, so my friend Natalie recently (as in like an hour ago) made her very first blog!! [[check it out here!]] and her first post was ALL ABOUT ME!!! So, I told her I would get on writing a post about her ASAP.

here goes:::

Natalie Rain Pellow is truly one of a kind. She is crazy, funny, insane, weird, gorgeous, small, caring, awkward, and so much more.

I love this girl more than a fat kid loves cheeseburgers.

We don't get to hang out as often as we'd like, but we always make the most of our time together. We go on dates and forget to order our lasagna without meat; we go dancing; we make crazy videos; we play pig, horse, and octopus; we watch movies; we sing until we realize our voices aren't our talent; we cuddle <3; we eat...A LOT!!! basically, it's a nonstop party when we are together.

We ARE going to one day open a dance studio. mark.my.words.

In about two-ish weeks, we are getting our noses pierced. shh. don't tell my director. He'd probably be pissed. I'm planning to cross that bridge when I get there. EH. pray I don't die.

My mom is afraid it will look tribal or something.



BUT I AM NOT STUPID. its going to be supa cute!!


okay so this isn't the best picture. but It will be small and attractive and awesome!!

I really want my belly button pierced. BUT my mom won't let me. and Frederick told me that is one of the most whore-like things a girl can do. Second to getting a tramp stamp. which I would never do, I want a tatoo on my foot though. This girl at my school has the coolest octopus ever and this other girl has a butterfly. SUPER CUTE!

but a tatoo is another thing my parents do not allow...hm.. o well, in a year I will be 18 and it will be my own decision. not theirs!!

so yep. sorry natalie, I got a little of subject,. BUTTTT i love you! hope you enjoyed my post <3

-willow

(p.s. willow is natalie's nickname for me, her name is buffy, and daniel is xander. SUPA CUTE RIGHT????)

hey all.

it's saturday, I absolutely love the weather today. TOO PERFECT. It's a good thing to, cause someone stole my sweater this morning at contest. guh. not a happy camper. They better be glad it wasn't cold and my sweater wasn't needed.


My friend Haley's mom (the one whose car I totaled) purchased a new car today. Female, blue, Murano. So that's exciting.

Speaking of the wreck. THE CROSSING GUARD LIED TO THE FREAKING COP. I was super pissed when I found out. guh.

anyways. I am moving on from this.

SO NATALIE JUST TOLD ME HER VERY FIRST BLOG POST IS GOING TO BE ABOUT ME!!!! I feel so cool <3


I have started using hearts more than smileys...which could be a problem when I start texting like that...and send guys the wrong message.

So,,,,prom is next weekend. buh. I really wish I was going. BUUTT. someone ruined THAT one. I'm not bitter or anything.

Is it lame how important prom is to me?? It's just one of those things I've always wanted to do.....

BIGGEST PET PEEVE:: hearing people gulp their water...chew ice....say "ahhhh" after taking a long drink...crumpling a water bottle.... I only say this because my father just came into the kitchen. where I am currently sitting and did all of those things and it really bothered me...MEN. what are they good for...you know that saying "can't live with em, can't live with out em." I am pretty sure I could live without this one....just saying...o god...now he is eating an apple....you know when you feed the buffalo...no? well there is a place in Lee's Summit where you can....well, they are quieter than he is...

um, I have currently had this feeling of rebellion festering within me. Teen Angst, man.

are you bored yet?? too bad. I'm still blogging. SUCKA.

I miss my car ://// I need out of my house, but the only way I can get out is if one of my parents take me somewhere. This sucks.....

OKAY well...I guess I'm done now....


BYE!!!