so. my computer broke. not really sure the details. all i know is it got a virus. and now the hard drive is failing. whhhiiichhh means they are replacing it. which means everything ever saved on my computer is gone forever. joy.

but hey, i could be dead. trying to stay positive. welll, thats about it.

oh ya. be excited. cause when i get my computer back, look forward to posts about youthfront and london. p.s. i cant o the exclamation mark or caps from my phone. so ya, that sucks. haha kbye.

Deep Breath

Hello my blogging friends :)

So. its been awhile. Exactly a month actually. Thats weird. Anywho, I've been extremely busy this last month. Lets catch up.

ANNIE. That show was such a blessing. Such a life changing experience. I originally auditioned for it just as something to do to make the rest of the school year go faster. Deciding to do that show was the best decision I have ever made (other than being saved of course :)) I can not believe I did it. It is one of my biggest accomplishments I think. During our first Sunday show, I had an unexpected, unwelcome guest attend. When I found out he was in the audience, I lost it, the cast was there for me through that and with their help I was able to go out and perform the show! It was actually one of our better performances!

Easy Street <3

I had my dance show! We performed at The Lied Center at KU. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I am literally in love with that stage now. (Only a theatre kid would fall in love with a stage) It was so cool! I didn't know what to expect being in a "dance show" but I really enjoyed it. I WANNA DANCE FOREVER!

I had finals. BLEHHHHH. gross.

Tornado warnings during school, right after Joplin was hit bad. SCARY.

I had an amazing weekend with friends to start off summer.

And today, I went to the mall and fifty bajillion other places with my good friend DELANEY SOMMERS.

Now I get 4 days to rest up and relax before I leave to teenstaff at Youthfront on MONDAY! I am so stoked for this!!

friends.

This weekend has been one of the best weekends of my life. Starting with rehearsal on friday -> Daniel shaving his head friday night -> spending the night at Haley's with Sierra -> Going to US Toy to find Annie Wigs with Haley, Sierra, and Haley's mom -> going to A-Z and finding a buzz costume that would fit me (sadly I didn't have enough money for it. #ineedajob) -> going to Kathy's fundraiser recital -> thrift store shopping for old lady costumes -> going to Lowenstein and having a pizza picnic with tons of cool kids -> roxberry -> back to Lowenstein -> to Levi's trampoline -> senior day at youth. bittersweet -> buffy -> going to Haley's to watch a cool video she is making.


yep. you probably could care less about all the adventures I went on, but this is my blog and I feel like writing about them. so deal.

It was a very nice "de-stressing" weekend. (is that even a word? owell, youknowwhatImean)

This weekend felt so much like summer, it's depressing that I have to go back to school tomorrow. But, I don't have that much longer. This week is EOC's which I don't have to take but, because of them, my classes are longer, which means most of my teachers are just having us watch movies. Friday is Pop n' Jazz. Saturday is move in for Annie / my cousins fashion show in the evening. All next week is show week for Annie (stoked!!!!!!!!), then a week of hell, then finals week, THEN SUMMER!!

AND JUST A WEKK(ish) AFTER SCHOOL'S OUT IS YOUTHFRONT! I am so excited to teenstaff. and then teenstaff again, and then the lake (maybe) with friends, then camp at youthfront, then LONDON.


AHHHH life is just so good! :) I could just jump for joy!!




p.s. awkward double attitude leap. HA.







anyways. this weekend has just shown me how incredibly blessed I am. I throw myself a lot of pity parties, and I've had quite a few emotional break downs in the past few months. Starting last November, my life began to crumble apart. My friend once told me "When you have taken all you can bear and it feels like you can't keep fighting through and when you have hit rock bottom; that's when God has something truly amazing in store for you" I have grasped so hard to those words. They are my water floaties in this deep end of life's pool. Being with my friends this weekend has truly opened my eyes and shown me that I don't got it that bad. I've got it really good actually. :)


peace.love.friendship.

<3 Jessie

I am so incredibly stressed right now. My life has been on fast forward for the past month and looking forward into the coming months, it doesn't seem like it will slow down until July. Don't get me wrong, I love being busy. I can not handle not being busy, I go insane. I just wish all my busy was the fun kind of busy. Explanation: I wish I could just have the dance, theatre, and choir busy and skip the school busy. Since its getting down to the final days of school, the teachers have started going at a quicker pace so we can get everything done. Currently I have basically six papers to write all for the same class (I am taking a break from that writing to do this writing). All six of those are due tomorrow. I feel like I am not given the amount of time I would like to finish most the assignments given to me. Its not like its impossible to get it done, just that, having shortened periods of time to work on things stresses me out. And then on top of that, we only have three more rehearsals until my show moves into the theatre. I am so excited for show week, but also deathly afraid. This my first lead and I don't know what to expect. I am not worried about my lines or my choreography or lyrics. Those things come naturally to me. I am mostly worried about how tired I will be. I do not function well socially when I am low on sleep and stressed. Another thing that worries me is that I will be missing on of our final rehearsals at the church for a choir concert. Which stresses me. Also, with missing school two days for shows, I am worried about my grades., They aren't exactly where I want them right now. Once school is out I won't really be stressed anymore, just buy. from June 6- July 13th I am pretty much booked solid. I am teenstaffing at youthfront, camping at youthfront, possibly going to the lake for my friends birthday, and GOING TO LONDON! I am so excited for all of these things, but I am scared I will be missing out on summer here with friends. I've started to get my stress headaches and if I am not careful and try to calm myself down, they will very shortly turn into migraines. And those are not pleasant, especially not for busy people.

bleh, okay I am done rambling and venting.

<3 Jessie

"While I dance I can not judge, I can not hate,

I can not separate myself from life.

I can only be joyful and whole. This is why I dance."

- Hans Bos

The Secret Life of Bees.

I took this picture. I was pretty proud of myself. :)

Yesterday, I went outside and observed the bees. Aren't bees just the coolest thing ever?? At first I was really scared to get close. I didn't want to get stung! But once I loosened up and got close, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I love nature. (NO I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE GREEN FREAKS WHO HAS TO BUY EVERYTHING RECYCLED AND REUSABLE AND BLAH BLAH BLAH. global warming will not effect us, if it is real, we have a pretty awesome God on our side to help us out.) However, I do recycle soda cans and paper. I should recycle plastic. I have some sort of irrational fear that our planet is going to end up like WALLE and we are all going to have to live on a big space ship in the outer realms of space where we all sit on hovercraft bed like things and eat and get fat. ANYWHO, back to the bees, watching them really made me think about how precise God is. And if he can give those bees such a tiny job that effects life on earth in such a big way, just think what he is calling us to do! Ans also, if he knew how greatly we would need those small creatures and he planned that so perfectly, why would we ever doubt his plans for us?

natalie rain pellow.

Okay, so my friend Natalie recently (as in like an hour ago) made her very first blog!! [[check it out here!]] and her first post was ALL ABOUT ME!!! So, I told her I would get on writing a post about her ASAP.

here goes:::

Natalie Rain Pellow is truly one of a kind. She is crazy, funny, insane, weird, gorgeous, small, caring, awkward, and so much more.

I love this girl more than a fat kid loves cheeseburgers.

We don't get to hang out as often as we'd like, but we always make the most of our time together. We go on dates and forget to order our lasagna without meat; we go dancing; we make crazy videos; we play pig, horse, and octopus; we watch movies; we sing until we realize our voices aren't our talent; we cuddle <3; we eat...A LOT!!! basically, it's a nonstop party when we are together.

We ARE going to one day open a dance studio. mark.my.words.

In about two-ish weeks, we are getting our noses pierced. shh. don't tell my director. He'd probably be pissed. I'm planning to cross that bridge when I get there. EH. pray I don't die.

My mom is afraid it will look tribal or something.



BUT I AM NOT STUPID. its going to be supa cute!!


okay so this isn't the best picture. but It will be small and attractive and awesome!!

I really want my belly button pierced. BUT my mom won't let me. and Frederick told me that is one of the most whore-like things a girl can do. Second to getting a tramp stamp. which I would never do, I want a tatoo on my foot though. This girl at my school has the coolest octopus ever and this other girl has a butterfly. SUPER CUTE!

but a tatoo is another thing my parents do not allow...hm.. o well, in a year I will be 18 and it will be my own decision. not theirs!!

so yep. sorry natalie, I got a little of subject,. BUTTTT i love you! hope you enjoyed my post <3

-willow

(p.s. willow is natalie's nickname for me, her name is buffy, and daniel is xander. SUPA CUTE RIGHT????)